My Story …
The day that is forever etched in my mind is the day I realized my life needed to change. I was boarding a plane to Colorado to speak at a conference and I had tears in my eyes. I didn’t want to go because I was physically exhausted, spiritually adrift, and emotionally spent. This was 1998, and I had been travelling to a different city almost every weekend for speaking engagements. My speaking dates were going well, but somehow that was not enough. I felt stuck in a bad story.
All I ever wanted was to be successful. I was driven by it. My top priorities had become achievement, performance, and significance. The problem was, I was also motivated by fear of failure. For most of my life, I was content to live a good, safe, and predictable existence. I had swallowed the typical version of the American dream – I received a good education, carved out a good career, made good friendships, and had a good family.How could I accomplish so much good, yet feel so bad? What was I chasing? Who was I trying to impress?
You see, I grew up playing it safe. I worked hard to gain security, and I succeeded, or so I thought. But, I also sensed that there must be more to life. At 39 years old, if someone pulled back the curtain on my life they would have found a mess. After some deep soul searching, I discovered that I had accomplished a lot but I neglected myself in five areas – physically, emotionally, relationally, mentally, and spiritually. Physically, I was getting by on three or four hours of sleep trying to stay ahead of my competition. Emotionally, I was moody and battled panic attacks. Relationally, my marriage was in a dark place, and my bride and I sought counseling. Mentally, I was scattered and found it hard to concentrate on work. Spiritually, I committed soul abuse, and neglected to care for my real needs.
If we circle back to that trip to Colorado, I decided that would be my last business trip for a while. I stopped taking speaking engagements for a full year. Through counseling and coaching, I began to view my life as a story. I learned to give myself permission to change, to act, and to dream. I realized that I was the writer of my life story, and up until that point, I was churning out standard, ho-hum fare.
Through that self-discovery phase, I felt an urge to fulfill my God-given potential, aim higher, and strive for a vibrant, meaningful life. I challenged myself to release the parking brakes of complacency and shortsightedness and go full throttle toward the adventure of living. I knew I had to turn the page and adopt a mindset of growth and living with a sense of calling and purpose.
Now, I count my success based on investing in what matters – my marriage, my sons, my friends, and helping others live intentional, fulfilled lives.
What’s your story? Let’s me help you turn the page!